Comparing Apples to Apples

And You Are The Apple

We’ve all heard the old adage, “Comparing apples to oranges, versus comparing apples to apples.” It’s a good one, and ultimately points to the advantage of comparing apples to apples when deciding with whom to compare your progress when learning a new instrument, song, or piece.

I’ve been teaching private music lessons for several years now, and I’ve been a musician for nearly half a century. One thing I know for sure is that making the incorrect comparison for your progress can be… disheartening and demoralizing.

I hear it all the time, no matter the age or gender of my students, “But (fill-in-the-blank) is so good, I’ll never be a good as she or he is/was.”

“I suck. I’ll never be as good as…”

Gosh, what a terrific way to encourage yourself (insert sarcasm here)! Imagine you pick up a football for the first time and throw it. You watch it wobble with uncertainty, until it drops to the ground only feet away, never reaching its intended target. Then you pick it up and throw it a few more times with similar, yet slightly improved results. Instead of saying, well, at least I’m a little better than my first throw, you say to yourself, “I suck. I’ll never be as good as Joe Montana.” First of all, that may or may not be true, depending upon your own drive, or burning desire, or how much time you’re willing to invest in becoming as good or better than Montana. Second of all, why on earth would you do that to yourself?

In the interest of full disclosure, I hear something similar to that in my own head on a regular basis, and it’s an issue I still struggle with, even after all these years. I grew up with a self-taught, musical virtuoso—my mother. From the very beginning of my music education (to just the other day), often the on-going mantra in my head is, “I’ll never be as good as she was.” It’s not an encouraging mantra, to be sure.

Look to Your Own Progress

What prompted me to write this article is that I recently met with a potential older student who is, for all practical purposes, a self-taught guitarist. He has no discernible understanding of the organization of music; i.e., music theory. He was frustrated because he feels he is not improving (in his own mind). Why did he think that? Because he is comparing himself with a professional musician who has decades of playing, recording, and thousands of performances under his belt. While he was comparing himself to a true guitar virtuoso, I was comparing him to someone who had no formal music education—himself. I was truly wowed by what he managed to accomplish out of shear determination.

I’ve always steered my students to look at their own progress for encouragement (even when it’s to point out their lack of progress due to not practicing). I know, as a teacher, it’s the best barometer for improvement. Students often try to compare their abilities to mine, but I quickly remind them that I have been playing music for over forty years—and they have only just started. To compare their own progress with my playing is, well, silly.

To be fair, as an individual, I still struggle with the same issue. After so many years, it’s tough to redirect my own inner voice that says “You’ll never be as good.”. Even so, it’s important, even vital, to continue to try to quiet it. My goodness, if I compared my own playing and mastery of the instruments I play to all of the other musicians I know and/or admire who are infinitely better than I am, I might not ever want to get out of bed again!

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Older students, whether retired or semi-retired, often have unreasonable expections. They’ve forgotten, or don’t even realize that while they may have the time to devote to their musical endeavor, their learning abilities are not the same as when they were children. Things don’t click as fast as they once did. It’s important for them to compare their progress to who they are today, and not who they were when they were much younger.

Certainly there are extremely gifted people in every discipline who were born with incredible abilities, who, seemingly with very little practice or effort, are (or were) stellar in their fields. Don’t compare yourself with Einstein, Beethoven, Joe Montana, Babe Ruth, Marie Curie, or other historic high achievers. Those people were or are tops in their fields of expertise, and are a useless barometer of achievement. Comparing your progress to them will also create ridiculous and nearly impossible hurdles, which only sets you up for failure.

When you compare apples to apples, or your own progress to where you were last week, or last month, or two years ago, there’s potential for a greater sense of accomplishment. When you think to yourself, “I suck,” or “I’m not getting any better,” try to think back in time to when you first began playing a particular piece or exercise. I’ll bet you’ll find you’ve improved significantly. Even if your improvement isn’t significant, it’s likely better than your very first attempt.

“But what if it isn’t? What if I haven’t improved?” you might ask. Well, if you’re right, here’s what I’ll tell you: 1) Perhaps you need to practice more, or better. If you’re already practicing a lot, maybe you’re not practicing in a way that’s beneficial to you. Not everyone is identical in their abilities or how they process information. Simply try a different approach.

2) If you feel you can comfortably increase your practice time, try that. There’s a chance you may be moving forward before you’re ready. Quality of practice should trump quantity. 3) It could be the instrument (or other endeavor you’re pursuing) that’s not the one for you. 4) There’s even the possibility that you’re over-practicing. Yes, over-practicing. It’s a thing, really.

As I’ve mentioned before, just because you want to play a particular instrument doesn’t mean it’s the right instrument for you. How many wannabe singers have come to me who could not carry a tune, even if I were to put the tune into a backpack and strap it to their bodies? How many students have come to me with no rhythm whatsoever who dream of being professional musicians? A lot.

People with no talent to cultivate and grow, or no aptitude for music but who love it so much often want to pursue it themselves. They want to make music! Why not, right? But if they have aspirations of being the next Adele, or Prince, or whomever, and want to compare their own abilities and progress to the idols of their choice, they’ll be sorely disappointed. If, however, they just want to learn for their own enjoyment, comparing their own progress to themselves, I say “Go for it.” Comparing apples to apples. It’s the best way to go.

Be The Apple

Don’t beat yourself up if you’re not improving fast enough or you’re not able after two weeks, or two years or however long you’ve been at it, to play as well as that genius you want to emulate. Look at yourself. You’re an apple, okay? Compare yourself to yourself—apple to apple. It’s just that simple.